The Battle of the Ants, Part 2: SOLSC2013#25

I know it will come sooner or later once mom gets going on about the ants. So I am gritting my teeth, just waiting.

“We never had a problem with ants before we went to Peru to visit Di and Bill and the kids.”

It hurts my ears to hear it. I feel it like a blow to my stomach. I know she does not mean it that way. Still, it feels that way.

“The ants got in the house while we were gone. We’ve had a problem ever since.”

My mom and stepdad came to visit us in Lima when my husband came home after having surgery. For cancer. Of the esophagus.

Three weeks in the hospital. Major invasive surgery. A section of the esophagus removed. The top one-third of the stomach removed. After-surgery complications. Second surgery. Chemical pneumonia.

Three weeks of the kids staying with other families. I was at the hospital three weeks, too. That is the way it is there- a family member stays with the patient.

Three weeks that included Christmas.  During which we got the news cancer was also found in lymph nodes. Which meant Stage III. Only about ten percent of patients have a five year survival rate. Most patients die in the first year. My husband made it to one year, four months.

“We never had a problem with ants before we went to Peru to visit Di and Bill and the kids.”

Somehow my mother thinks only of the ants. But I think of everything else.


This entry was posted in home and family, memories, SOLSC 2013 Weekly, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Battle of the Ants, Part 2: SOLSC2013#25

  1. Ugh…. everything is a reminder when you suffer such a loss. My thoughts are with you.

  2. pinkieup says:

    I have no words – but want to thank you for writing this.

  3. I am sorry. This hurts my heart because I know it hurts yours. It brings back such a difficult time and your Mom seems to lack sensitivity to that. My Dad does this sometimes, too and for whatever reasons I am not able to explain the hurt he causes. So I do the only thing I can to and that is to forgive him. It is really hard and I can’t do it without prayer and God’s grace. It keeps me from harboring resentment towards my Dad. Sending you a hug attached to a prayer.

  4. This is a truly amazing and powerful piece of writing. It’s hard to go between funny and sad, even though there is often a very fine line between the two. You blew me away with the way you revealed the truth of what your piece was really about. I was not expecting it to be so sad, but that made it more powerful. So much information about your family and relationships in such a short pair of pieces.

  5. elsie says:

    This is so hard to respond to because I feel for you and the pain you have every time she brings it up. It is the salt in the wound that will never heal. You are kind to your mother, I’m afraid I may not be so kind.

  6. Tara Smith says:

    I think you were prepared, and somehow even though your mother’s words were hard to hear, you almost expected it. My mother is this way, too…and I wish it wasn’t so. Especially because you have so much else to deal with!

  7. Jaana says:

    So much sorrow in the midst of ants! Ants we can spray away, but unfortunately, there is no spray to kill the cancer cells. Maybe one day….. (or maybe a spray that could make people more sensitive…) I am so glad you are writing!

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