Tears, Again, Out of the Blue

All who have known grief have known this, too. Time passes, and though you don’t ever forget, you don’t feel sad and teary every moment as you did at the beginning. Then some crazy little thing comes up, and suddenly, you find yourself crying. Again.

It happened as I was watching the news- specifically, the sports news. My mom wasn’t really a sports fan, but my step-dad was the ultimate fan, especially for home town teams. So mom had team sweatshirts for game days, stood in line when the grocery had a promotion going on to get team posters, and sometimes actually watched whole games. She spoke fondly of star Pacers basketball player, Reggie Miller, and long-time Colts quarterback Peyton Manning as if they were family friends. (We didn’t know them, although we did have a family connection to Hoosier Hysteria- my stepfather’s dad was the owner of Indy’s first pro basketball team, the world champion Indianapolis Kautskys.) Mom followed every little bit of news that was leaked when Peyton Manning and his wife welcomed twins.

So when the sports report featured a cute photo of Peyton and his son on the Denver field, I thought how Mom would love seeing that. She would have talked about how cute it was, how the boy is a “spittin’ image” of the dad. And in that fleeting moment as the thought crossed mind, I could hear her voice, and I burst into tears. Out of the blue. Watching sports news.

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7 Responses to Tears, Again, Out of the Blue

  1. blkdrama says:

    I can relate. Odd times when I want to call my mom and can’t. Grief feels different now, after just losing my husband. I want to understand what’s going on but that’s almost impossible. I’m embracing fall.
    Bonnie

  2. There is a beauty and a pain in how the most mundane event can remind us of the people we loved and are no longer with us and cause a searing pain in the heart. For me it is usually music.

  3. Linda Baie says:

    It happens to me and at moments that at times I don’t see coming, those tiny moments that connect us to the memories of a loved one.

  4. arjeha says:

    We never know what is going to trigger a memory. I just proves that loved ones are never far from our thoughts.

  5. Dana Murphy says:

    This is the truest picture of grief, I think. It just never goes away. This post reminds me of what my cousin said on Mother’s Day, after losing her mom. I commented that Mother’s Day must be so hard for her, and she said, “Not really. It’s no different from any other day. I miss my mom every day.”

    She, too, sometimes just cries unexpectedly. It just shows how the grief is always there, just under the surface.

    Thanks for sharing your story (and your mom) with us today.

  6. Lori Sheroan says:

    How true! Sometimes it’s just a turn of phrase, a familiar smell, or a television rerun. Those little memories do take us by surprise and stir up emotions. I love the way you captured this one aspect of your mom’s life. It was such a clear glimpse of that part of her personality. Very touching!!!

  7. bevbaird says:

    There will always be those moments and it is a testament of the love your had for your Mom. My mom has been gone now 7 years and I still go to phone her or think about her at different times of the day. BUt memories do sustain us. A lovely post.

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